Silent Sunday

Wading through treacle

It's quarter to two in the afternoon and I've finally sat down with a cup of coffee!

Probably a familiar tale to many of you mothers out there, but sometimes I find it all so overwhelming and bloody hard work, especially when my head isn't feeling right, which is most of the time lately.

I always feel so full of fear, of what I don't know. I always have, and it's horrible.

I had a mental health assessment yesterday for counselling...more bloody counselling!

Usual story, but something's got to give. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in this torment. Why should I?

http://clarelouallen.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-wolf-at-door.html

I know I think too much! I'm scared to reach out to people.

My best friend reminded me what I've got in my life today. More than I ever dreamt possible, so why can't I move on? Why don't I feel anything?

I believe in God, I also believe everything happens for a reason. Every struggle I have been through I look back on and can see why it had to happen.

It isn't always like this fortunately! I had a moment yesterday when I looked at my children when I felt so proud. I live for these moments!

When is the right time for Christmas decorations?

Hmmmm!

This was a post originally written by Helpful mum at http://www.offcumden.com/2012/12/when-is-right-time-for-christmas.html and it got me thinking.

Christmas seems to come around earlier every year now. Mince Pie on Halloween anyone?

I used to be the girl at school who bedecked her room every year, the tackier the better, but then I got an eating disorder and Christmas became a battlefield for many years...in fact I still don't really enjoy it. But now I have two babies of my own, I want to make Christmas time as special as I can.

Luke is nearly three. Still a bit too young to understand it all, though he seems to get that Santa brings him presents if he is a good boy.....

And therein lies another dilemma. Trying to stop using that as a weapon every time he is naughty. Because he is naughty a lot!!

Amy is one and into everything! So where am I supposed to put the tree without her pulling it over or yanking off the baubles?

We won't be here on Christmas Day, My mum will be hostess with the mostest!! Just don't mention her lumpy gravy.....EVER!!

Maybe this weekend then! When Elf is on..... Maybe that will get me in the festive spirit!

Still no idea where to put the bloody tree!

Why do I blog?

I was reading Sally's post at http://pressiesbypebbles.com/why-do-i-blog/

It got me thinking!

Why do you blog? I find writing very therapeutic. I was very good at it at school, but never carried on with it afterwards. Something I often regret.

I have had a lot of life experience. Lots of things I havnt touched on much yet. Maybe I will do a guest post one day. I don't feel I can write about it all on my blog yet, some people will disagree with that, but I like to try and keep my posts a little light hearted at the moment.

What do you get from it? Often just a chance to relive those funny moments you have when there are two very small children about! It's also my way of communicating with different people, whether in Australia or Birmingham! People who I will never meet but we can share our thought about life!

Is it trivial and is that okay sometimes? Of course! It's nice to make people laugh or relate to something silly. Sometimes I will read something that cheers me up and I need that because life can be extremely hard and testing.

Why should people be interested in what you write? I hope they are! I blog a lot about my children, mainly because they are my life at the moment. 

Do you care if they are not?  Not at all! Just please do not leave nasty comments or opinions...I deleted a post because of that, and looking back I wish I hadn't! As a fellow blogger pointed out to me, '' It is YOUR blog, you write what YOU want.

If you blog just for you, why do it publicly? Hmm. Why not? If someone else gets some enjoyment or help from it, then that's good. It's my little piece of the World Wide Web!

What value do you think you are adding to the world by blogging? Probably nothing! But if it helps me, and may help other people then who cares!! I am a very small cog in an infinitely big wheel! 

Do you feel defensive about blogging? To a certain degree. It's hard to explain it to my parents  generation. My Dad thinks its like airing your dirty laundry to the world! But I like to think we are more open minded about things now and talk about feelings!!!

Thanks to DillyTante at http://dillytante.wordpress.com/ who came up with this Blog Hop! It's certainly got me thinking!!

Silent Sunday

A strange week.....

Firstly, apologies for my absence of late!
It's been a strange couple of weeks....
Started off with hubbie doing his back in at work. He's a Postman, so it's all part and parcel of the job! Haha, no pun intended, but quite a good one!
He's not supposed to be a Postie! He hasn't the legs for it! No seriously he is a Draughtsman who can't get any work, and hasn't for a couple of years.
So he has been here with me and the kids which has been lovely! I really hate my own company so it's been so nice to have him around.
Then my little boy went into hospital to have an operation on his webbed fingers to separate them. It had been cancelled twice and I have been dreading it. I felt sick with anxiety and spent the previous two days in bed with flu so couldn't go with him.
Luke as always was a little trooper and was fine, unlike his Daddy who got quite upset and said it was a good job I wasn't there!



He has adapted quite well to his club arm and is pretty much his normal self, hasn't hit Amy with it....yet!!

Then we put an offer in on a house! How grown up and scary. Still havnt heard anything back and so far have ignored the temptation to knock on the front door and beg and plead!

Lastly Mark may have got himself a CAD job! Early days and it means lots of hard work and juggling as he has to keep his Postie position until we get the mortgage settled.

Change........I am usually so scared of change. I feel safe when things seem settled around me. One whiff of it and I usually run for the hills!!!
But not this time because it IS TIME.
Time for a change. A fresh start.
I think the thing that scares me so much about change, is fear of the unknown. And the reality that means things probably won't go smoothly, they rarely do and I don't deal with that very well at all!
So at the moment I feel a strange mix of nervous anticipation, excitement and dread that it will all fall through!
I need to get positive! No matter what it will work out! We WILL find a house, even if its not this one. And Mark WILL get his old job back!
Coz I got a feeling!!
Fingers crossed!

#Healing4Kerry

I don't need to explain, I'm sure so many of you are following Kerry's sad, yet so poignant story.
She is Multiple Mummy. http://www.multiplemummy.com/

This is a fantastic Healing Blog Hop thought up by the lovely Liska at http://newmumonline.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/multiple-photos-for-multiple-mummy-and.html

I wanted to share my favourite prayer with you. I think it is beautiful and very true.
It is said to provide spiritual comfort and inspiration and has helped me through many tough times.

Footprints Prayer

Footprints in the Sand

One night I had a dream...
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;
One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before us,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
There was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life
This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
You would walk with me all the way;
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,
There is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why in times when I
needed you the most, you should leave me.
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious
child. I love you, and I would never,
never leave you during your times of
trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."
~~~~~~

Footprints Prayer

Much love and chocolate
Clare x

Silent Sunday

Vodka Christmas Cake

This post is not written by me or the incredibly funny Kellie at http://www.bigfashionista.co.uk/ whose blog I stole it from!! I'm not sure where or who it originates from but it has made me giggle on an otherwise rainy and dreary day!

Vodka Christmas cake,

You will need;

1 cup of sugar
1tsp baking powder
1 cup of water
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle of good quality vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample a cup of vodka to check it is good quality.

Take one large bowl, check the vodka again to be absolutely sure of the quality then repeat. Turn on the electric mixer thingy. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar, beat again. At this point it may be wise to check the vodka is still at its best, Try it once more, because you are a thorough chef of Nigella standards. Turn off the mixer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried fruit. Pick up the fruit off the floor, wash it and then then add it to the bowl a piece at a time, trying to count it. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getasa stuck in the beterars, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check on the vodka. Now shit, shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. whatever you can find. greash the oven. turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Dont forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the vodka, and wipe the counter with the cat.

Listography: Six songs of me

What a fab idea from Kate at http://katetakes5.blogspot.co.uk/ A listography linky!

LISTS!!!

I love love love lists! Especially those job lists for hubbie, you know the ones......that never get done!

Mine are usually full of fun things like what groceries we need, birthdays, making Doctors appointments..... YAWN!

But this is a GOOD list!

1. What was the first song you bought?

I remember this, not because of the amazing choice I made in my eleventh year, but because they were bought with a voucher I got with a purchase of particularly HIDEOUS Clarks brown school shoes. It was the only reason I let my mum buy them probably!

Wham - Club Tropicana....not a bad choice. Seriously let down by my second. 

Black Lace - Superman!! Nearly as uncool as the shoes.

http://youtu.be/7Le-mYN3dl0

2. What song always gets you dancing?

No brainier!! Not sure if you can call it dancing though! It's more of a swaying type thang with my hands in the air!

Take That - Never Forget

http://youtu.be/K2yfnqjHGGU with Robbie! Because when I saw them all back together singing this it felt right....and I cried!! So there.

3. What song takes you back to your childhood?

Now this is a difficult one as there are so many. I can narrow it down to three, but then it wouldn't be six songs so my choice is

Human League- Together in electric dreams

http://youtu.be/DCyxO57Hn6k

Or Daniel or Neverending story. Ssssshhhh!

4. What is your perfect love song?

Take That - Rule the world

Mine and hubbies song! Our wedding dance.

6. What song would you like at your funeral?

I really don't know, maybe a song that reminds people of me. So maybe it's yet to be found, but if I was to choose one now it would be

Duran Duran - Save a prayer

One of my all time favourites and quite apt!

http://youtu.be/jThGT2pUWf0

6. Time for the encore. What song makes you you?

This is a song that got me through a very hard time in my life and every time I hear it I am filled with fresh hope.

Brand new radicals - Get what you give

http://youtu.be/cPAEFnVZVOs

How my child sees me #meme

I have been tagged by the lovely and brave Emma at http://thecyclingmummy.wordpress.com/ to do this meme. 

Luke is great at drawing....but only when HE wants to. Which is why this has taken two days!

I love my little boy! But he drives me to distraction. He was the model baby, which is why I think I am finding it so hard to adjust to 'The Terrible Twos'. 

Picture aside, I often wonder how Luke sees me.

Sometimes I wonder if he even likes me! He is not the most affectionate of children, never has been, but I am the sort of person who needs constant reassurance anyway, about EVERYTHING!

I know I am the best mum I can be at this moment in time, that's not to say I won't get better at it, there is no manual! I'm learning as I go, and it's the hardest, sometimes most thankless job I have ever had.

But Motherhood is also the most amazing thing!

When I watch them, I can't help but smile. They light up my life. I love them with a passion and force I didn't know was possible.

If you ask me what to take and decipher from this picture I wouldn't really know the answer, but I have hands and feet and what appears to be rather large ear muffs! 

Maybe I am being too analytical!

Hey I'm just Mummy....

I tag

http://msmummyoftwo.com/

http://amummysview.wordpress.com/

http://mummyneversleeps.com/

Silent Sunday

#R2BC Reasons to be cheerful....1 2 3

 I haven't posted for a few days because the whole family has come down with a sore throat, hacking cough type lurgy thingy, which I'm sure has affected pretty much all of you too!

So what better day and post to start again with #R2BC, the Thursday linky from Michelle at 

http://mdplife.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/reasons%20to%20be%20cheerful

I need some gratitude rather than self pity going on here!!!

The main really good reason to be cheerful this week is, we may have found THE house!

Big garden for the children, converted garage to put all the bloody toys! And it's in a lovely little quiet road just around the corner!

Not too much disruption for the children, the house is almost a replica of our rented property now and Luke can still go to his little nursery, which he loves!

It's all really scary! We have only ever rented. Don't talk to me about tracker mortgages, interest rates blah blah because I haven't a bleedin clue! Cue my Dad...The Fountain of All Knowledge....The Oracle! Will I ever stop running to my Daddy?? Probably not.

You know what I am looking forward to most? And most of you living in rented property may be with me on this.

PAINTING A WALL! Red yellow, WHO CARES, IT'S MY HOUSE!!!

Any colour other than MAGNOLIA OR MUSHROOM which is the awful colour I am looking at now. I don't smoke forty a day so I really dislike the walls looking like I do! Yuck.

I will miss this house though.

It may be just bricks and mortar, but it's our first family home.

It will always have a special place in my heart. This house is all my babies have ever known. 

On 7th April this year I walked out of the front door with my Dad, as Clare Andrew for the very last time. 

I came back in with my new husband, as Clare Allen, the name my children share, and we felt complete.

So I feel full of trepidation and excitement today. We are going for a second viewing on Monday although I have already moved in in my head!!

Silent Sunday

Flowers from my Amazing Husband!!

He makes me feel so special!!

Luke

My baby boy is growing up so fast!
Babyhood is over so quickly. He is becoming such a little character and is starting to string sentences together already. He comes out with the funniest things!
I wanted to write a list of his baby words, because I know one day they will be forgotten along with so many other things that are fresh in my mind now!
This is what defines my baby boy at this moment in time. Along with his obsession with Peppa Pig and jigsaw puzzles, oh and not sitting in the bath because he did a poo in there ages ago and thinks its still there!
Sucre - His beloved teddy that he takes everywhere! This one baffles me as his name is Crumble!
Manny - Amy. This one has gone.
Gagapoo - My Dad!
Shish - Fish
Pooka - Milk
Bapple - Apple
Cokafye - Chocolate
Pissy - Biscuit.....Yep I know! This has raised a few eyebrows!
Fluf fluf - Maltloaf
Pippies - Rice Krispies
Caccy - Coffee
He also used to call us both Daddy! I think he thought we were one person! Sometimes I think we are.
And when Mark makes me anything to eat, Luke always comes up to me, puts his head one one side and says Mummy bagel?

I love him so much!

#Swangate!

Thought I'd take the munchkins out today to feed the ducks.

Off we set armed with stale supplies.

We weren't long!!

Jesus, swans are scary!!

There we were by the waters edge when I saw them approach.

"Luke, let go of the bread.....LET GO OF THE BREAD!"

I swear it was nearly as big as me..Well Amy then!! And those beaks, terrifying!

I ran..well as fast as a toddler on a buggyboard attached to a pushchair would allow!

"I don't like big dooks mummy!"

Me neither...

Silent Sunday

What grinds my gears!!

When the lovely Mama Owl at http://my-lifeandkids.blogspot.co.uk/ tagged me in this #meme, I felt slightly anxious as I have only been blogging a couple of weeks and already upset some fellow bloggees  with one of my posts.

But as she rightly pointed out its my blog and I can write what I like! So I will! And maybe grow a pair and stop being so sensitive about what others think of me!!

Things that mash my swede!

- Doctors receptionists! Why are they always so bloody rude?

- The horrible whining noise that my two year old son has perfected and uses, well nearly all the time.

- The high pitched screaming noise that my one year old daughter has also perfected and uses most of the time.

- The above two noises when heard together.

- My husbands blank expression when I repeat a conversation we had an hour ago.

- Jeremy Kyle.....TWAT!!!

- The way my Mum can push all my buttons with just ONE look!  And make me feel about thirteen again within five minutes of being in her presence.

- Sticky kitchen surfaces!! Yuck.

- Noisy eaters, people who talk with their mouth full of food, people who play with their food, people who don't eat food! You get the gist???

- Those old women who tut at you when your child is having a meltdown in Sainsburys!!! Yes love, they were dragged up, and I have no idea about discipline!!

I mean, seriously!!! Have you ever tried to reason with a two year old who wants, needs HAS TO HAVE THAT PEPPA PIG DVD RIGHT NOWWWW!!

- Size 8 clothes....cause they used to fit me, before two babies and married life!!

I could go on and on! But I don't want this to turn into a moany old rant!!!

So I shall let some others take over!!

The meme rules are to tag back to the creator and the person who tagged you.

The lady who came up with this fab idea is Mummy of Many Talents at http://mummyofmanytalents.wordpress.com/

And here are my tags

Fern@http://pennybakeslove.blogspot.co.uk/

Lorna@http://mummyandherboys.wordpress.com/

Sally@http://pressiesbypebbles.com/

My favourite word...

Silent Sunday

#R2BC Reasons to be cheerful....1 2 3

What a fantastic idea from Michelle at http://mdplife.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/reasons%20to%20be%20cheerful
Sometimes when I'm so caught up in day to day pressures of bringing up two very small children and trying to be a good 'Domestic Goddess ' type wifey....(Please read that last bit with plenty of irony! It is intended that way!) I forget to be grateful. In fact hubbie and I have got self pity syndrome down to a fine art....on most days anyway!!!So I think this will be good for me in a 'Wake up and smell the coffee' kind of way, so I may make a weekly habit of it, because when I think about things really, we are so lucky!
Number 1 :-
My children are healthy and possibly the most beautiful babies I have ever set eyes on! Yeah yeah I'm biased I know, but isn't that a good thing? That all us parents out there look at our children in that wonderful unconditional way? Even when they have snot running down their faces and chocolate in their hair! There will never be a feeling like that! If I could capture it, that intense feeling of love and protection I feel when I look at them, I would bottle it and keep it forever, I hope it never changes, I don't think that it can, even when they reach 40!
Number 2 :-
We have a lovely warm house, rented, granted, but ours all the same, until we are in a position to get our very own! My dream.....an un-magnolia'd piece of heaven!!This house is all my children have ever known. They feel safe here. We moved in five days before Luke made an unexpected early arrival. We were putting up his nursery when my waters broke. It will always be our first family home together.
Number 3 :-
Every week hubbie buys me flowers!!! I know we are new to this marriage lark, six months in....But I hope he always does, because it makes me feel special!
So there we have it! And you know,  it has made me smile!!

Note all the boxes at the back!!!!!
So here's the linky bit!! Please come and say hello, and thanks to Julie at http://my-lifeandkids.blogspot.co.uk/ for suggesting this lovely idea!

My beautiful Amy.

When I found out I was expecting a baby girl, a little sister for Luke, I felt quite apprehensive.

I haven't always had the best relationship with my mum. I love her so much, but we just press each others buttons. Always have, probably always will!

I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a daughter.      

A blonde haired blue eyed version of Luke who we might call Lucy or Lola?

Would we bond..or would she be a 'Daddy's Girl' like me?

Would she be a good baby like Luke? (Ironically just before the terrible two's!)

As I got bigger I got more nervous.

I could tell by the hefty kicks she was giving me there was going to be trouble! Everyone said she was bound to be, because Luke was so good! 

I don't know what to expect really. But would definately check for horns and 666 when she made an appearance! 

Which she did, three weeks early like her brother.

And she was nothing like what I thought!

A huge mop of black hair, big dark eyes. It was love at first sight.

My darling Amy May.

And, like her brother she has been an absolute joy.

So far......

I have been told by a very good friend that at least Luke should be out of the horrible, horrible twos quite soon, but Amy, once in them, probably won't be out of them until she is at least 16!

A bit like her mother. Oh dear!

But for now I won't worry about that, and enjoy whats left of her babyhood.

And fall in love with her a little bit more each day.

 

My Picture of the day.....

For my hubbie and kids 

I love you all three and you really do 'Light up my life' every single day.

My Picture of the day......

The Wolf at the Door.

Some people refer to depression as "The Black Dog". Good analysis.

OCD is a form of that, or mental illness really.

And that Wolf has been sniffing around my heels for many years. 

"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."

Mark Twain

This is my mantra, but when the wolf bites it gets forgotten.

I have heard OCD described as a bridge. On one side is the foggy world of fear, obsessional doubt, anxiety, emotional reasoning, unreality and ritual that is OCD. 

On the other side is common sense, reality, objectivity.....FREEDOM!!

My husband often asks me where I am on the bridge, I'm usually somewhere in the middle, but when the wolf howls, I'm lost in the fog.

OCD is an affliction that is stopping me from LIVING MY LIFE and I don't know why.

I have had therapy over the years. In fact this time last year I thought I'd been 'cured.'

But slowly but surely it's been creeping back in, I don't think it ever really went away. I understand it better.

I struggle with emotions, have done for most of my life. I've depended on lots of crutches, food, alcohol, OCD. Anything to stop me from thinking and feeling really. But I don't understand why and therein lies the key.

I hope one day I can take that key, cross the bridge away from OCD land. I will unlock the door, step over the threshold where love and peace is waiting for me.

And I will slam that door against the beast forever.

My Picture of the day....

Silent Sunday

Saturday is Caption Day

Ooh how exciting!' My very first caption!!
Meet Luke, my comical son!!

Autumn days when the grass is jewelled......

Autumn is my favourite season!!!
I love the beautiful colours of the leaves, the cosy evenings by the roaring log fire...The promise of Santa coming down the chimney soon, Chestnuts roasting...Okay, i've gone off in my dreams again...But the first line is true!
Whenever i think of the seasons i'm always taken back to Primary School and a song we used to sing called Autumn Days. I have such fond memories of that school. When i sing this song it always makes me smile and i'm taken back to Westlands Primary
The School Dinners!!! I remember the cooks dumping instant mash onto the tray with an icecream scoop and it always made me gag!!
Our Headmaster who was probably only about fifty, but we thought was as old as the hills!!
Mr Pumphrey with his wooden block. Mrs Moore and The Grand National maths tests and her partner in crime Mrs Smith, who this song particulary reminds me of because she conducted the choir.

Autumn Days Lyrics

Autumn days, when the grass is jewelled
And the silk inside a chestnut shell
Jet planes meeting in the air to be refuelled
All these things I love so well

So I mustn’t forget
No, I mustn’t forget
To say a great big thank you
I mustn’t forget.

Clouds that look like familiar faces
And a winter’s moon with frosted rings
Smell of bacon as I fasten up my laces
And the song the milkman sings.

So I mustn’t forget
No, I mustn’t forget
To say a great big thank you
I mustn’t forget.

Whipped-up spray that is rainbow-scattered
And a swallow curving in the sky
Shoes so comfy though they’re worn out and they’re battered
And the taste of apple pie.

So I mustn’t forget
No, I mustn’t forget
To say a great big thank you
I mustn’t forget.

Scent of gardens when the rain’s been falling
And a minnow darting down a stream
Picked-up engine that’s been stuttering and stalling
And a win for my home team.

So I mustn’t forget
No, I mustn’t forget
To say a great big thank you
I mustn’t forget.

Autumn Days
by Estelle White

My Picture of the day......

By Luke age 2 1/2
I know I'm biased, but God he's good!!

Getting to Know You : Meme

Yikes!!! I have been tagged to do a post by the lovely Mistakes of the First Time Mummy
I have been been trying to work out how do do that said tag for most of today.....
A nice lady has been helping me on the BritMums site....ha see I'm getting good at it now!!
About half an hour ago I realised that said lady was in fact Mistakes of the First time Mummy....
Who had tagged me through Twitter!!
Oh dear...will I ever get the hang of this!!!!!!
Anyway I shall stop deveating and get on with it shall i?

Here are the rules:-

1. Post 5 random facts about yourself
2. Choose 5 other deserving blogs with less than 200 subscribers to nominate and link their blogs in your post
3. Tell your nominees you have chosen them for this award by leaving a comment on their blogs
4. Answer the 5 questions the tagger has asked you and ask your own 5 questions to the people you nominate
5. No tag backs

Alrighty then!!
My 5 random facts are:
1. I suffer quite badly with OCD. It is a horrible mental disorder that I have had for quite some time now. Some days are better than others and I need to keep my mind occupied which is one reason I started blogging.
2. The last thing I do each night is check on my two babies..not because of OCD, but because they are the two most precious things in my life and I always want to make sure they are okay.
3. I used to be a model! Blimey I know!
4. I've got fat thumbs! Hereditary apparently. My mums are worse than mine and Amy's are better! Phew!
5. I'm an Essex girl and very proud of that fact..and before you ask, no it's nothing like THAT show!!

Here are the questions posted to me by Mistakes of the First Time Mummy

1. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you visit?

I think it would have to be New York at Christmas. But it would have to be just like it is in all the films!! I love that idea.....Me and my husband and children all dressed up in Winter garb, clutching parcels wrapped in brown paper and string...with our noses pressed up to the fantastic displays in Bloomingdales, listening to Santa ringing his bell in the foyer...
I've heard it's actually nothing like that, but shhhh, a girl can dream!

2. What is your favourite type of cake?

Carrot every time! But it HAS HAS HAS to have raisins in it!

3. Would you rather: Travel back in time or forward to take a look into the future and why?

Definitely not forward. I might see something I'd rather not know about. I'd go back, back to
1985.
I'd tell the 13 year old me that she's ok, that she is good enough, that she's not fat and doesn't need to
go on that diet that will change the path of her life.

4. Who is the most influential person in your life.

My Dad, without a doubt. I always talk through everything with him. We call him the Oracle.
I wish I could be more like him. Nothing ever seems to phase him and he just gets on with life,
Whereas I seem to struggle and kick at every turn!

5. What do you enjoy most in life?

Those priceless happy moments, when my husband makes me laugh so much I wish I'd done those pelvic floor exercises!
When my children smile and are content.
Cuddles, lots of cuddles!
Time with good friends who listen and dont judge
Those moments you wish you could replay again and again!!

I enjoyed that!! Hope you did too!
Now to find some bloggers to tag.

3 Children and it

Keeping up with the Joneses

Multi Layer Mummy

Everyone else is Normal

Northern Mum

Oh and here are my questions!!

1. If you could be a fly on the wall anywhere....where would it be and who would you be spying on?

2. What is your favourite comfort food?

3. What is your favourite thing about yourself?

4. Who was your favourite teacher at school and why?

5. Who do you admire most in the world?

My Picture of the day......

When I see pictures like this, they always make me think......
Sometimes we are all so busy in our daily lives we forget about what's important.
We become doubtful of our abilities to be good parents, spouses, friends.
We always think we could do better!
Our souls get covered by layer upon layer of things that really don't matter....
Blow off the cobwebs and let your soul shine!!!

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!!

Yeah??!!
Really funny when you are seven and its somewhat of a novelty!! But I'm 40 next month and it's not!!
I won't go into the boring details but a mahoosive dental cock up, months of pain and numerous operations and appointments have left me looking like a extra from the Addams Family!!
I do have a very attractive plate with two teeth attached to it...but it doesn't fit very well as my gums are healing blah blah.
Mind you it looks great when imbedded in a sandwich I'm trying to eat, and is a source of great amusement to my newly-wedded-to husband and toddler...whereas my baby girl just looks at me and shows off her new sparkly baby ones!! Thanks angel!!
I guess it's a sign of things to come!! Get to 40...fall apart!! In all senses of the word.
And when I wake up in the morning and see my lovely false nashers smiling at me from the glass on the bedside table I know in that instant I have not turned into my Mother, oh no.....I'm my bloody Grandmother bless her soul.
All I need now are the curlers and hairnet!!!
Oh well, on the bright side at least I won't need to dress up for Halloween!
And maybe, just maybe I will have my new front teeth by Christmas......
Here's hoping!!

Blowing on cold weetabix!!!

Baby brain they call it....
I've had em all!! Blonde moments TICK. Essex Girl TICK.
In fact i did a good 'clareism' last night.
Hubbie:- 'I saw Scottish John tonight'.
Me:- 'Is that the one from Wales?'
I wouldnt mind but that's the second time I've done that!!
Cl'air' head... That's me!
So today when I found myself blowing on Amy's cold weetabix I imagined the scenario in ten years time....
My poor poor children. I hope they will still love me when I put jam on their chips and ketchup in their sandwiches!!
Actually forget ten years, that'll probably happen next week!!
Hubbies just as bad!
He just started eating a choux pastry and said to me in all seriousness....
"Does that look like a shoe to you?"
Oh my days!!!!
Note my ironic photo!!

Life begins at forty.

Now I’m nearly there I thought I’d investigate why people use this saying??
This is my favourite (but not neccessarily true) answer!

“People say life starts at 40 because hopefully, by the age of 40 we have learned and matured enough to really enjoy life, without repeating mistakes and with the knowledge of our years…..in 40 years, we should have learned enough to truly know what we seek and what truly makes us happy….and hopefully, at the age of 40…we will be able to go after it and obtain it……

It is about wisdom and experience my friend……..”

Hmmm!!
What can I say about my 30’s..
They didn’t start off too great, but in the last five years I have got more than I ever dreamed possible.

I met a wonderful man, who made me learn to trust again.

We made two miracles together, our beautiful children.

We got married....

I am now forty years and one day old.

Do I feel any different?

Am I now more mature?

Erm...ask my friend what happened tonight at Pilates when the instructor farted??

Did I act politely and pretend I hadn't heard?? Did I hell!

Pass the tena lady!!