8.12.12

Wading through treacle

It's quarter to two in the afternoon and I've finally sat down with a cup of coffee!
Probably a familiar tale to many of you mothers out there, but sometimes I find it all so overwhelming and bloody hard work, especially when my head isn't feeling right, which is most of the time lately.
I always feel so full of fear, of what I don't know. I always have, and it's horrible.

I had a mental health assessment yesterday for counselling...more bloody counselling!
Usual story, but something's got to give. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in this torment. Why should I?
I know I think too much! I'm scared to reach out to people.
My best friend reminded me what I've got in my life today. More than I ever dreamt possible, so why can't I move on? Why don't I feel anything?
I believe in God, I also believe everything happens for a reason. Every struggle I have been through I look back on and can see why it had to happen.
It isn't always like this fortunately! I had a moment yesterday when I looked at my children when I felt so proud. I live for these moments!


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